Sunday, August 30, 2015

My heart belongs to a farmer

I have been thinking about writing this post all summer, but I have sort of slipped off of the hit and miss routine of writing my blog to only one post at Christmas time when I went back to teaching full time. I thought I would have more time in the summer, but then I took an English class, shifted back and forth between being the fun mom and a mom ready to pull her hair out because her girls seem to not know how to listen, and of course as I learned early on in my relationship there is always something to do on the farm. Which is where the idea for this post popped into my mind.

Over the last 12 years I have really perfected this look from a picture at our wedding that is one of my favorites and have probably given it to Mark over 830,012 times since August 30, 2003 when we officially started this bumpy tractor ride of marriage and family on a dairy farm.

I give him a lot of these looks when he calls me out to feed calves in the rain, expects me to hear him yelling to stop the trailer in just the right spot to put a round bail of hay on, (over the diesel truck, skid loader, and three girls fighting in the back seat) drive the loader to jump start a tractor on a 20 below Iowa winter day, or trying to keep up with our three year old when she is ready to go to the house after chores and he says it will be late tonight....

But there is no one I would rather bump along the field with and help navigate the rocks and weather that pop up and change our plans with. I can never thank him enough for loving me through hormone changing causing 2 1/2 battles with postpartum depression and pushing me to get out of bed each morning when I would have rather pulled the covers back over my head and disappeared from all my awful thoughts and feelings. And even when I  think I am so mad at him I could scream he can say something to make me laugh so hard I cry because I am happy. Like just yesterday when he said our anniversary would yet again be spent chopping corn, but it had to be done because he planted the corn on his mom and dad's anniversary so  chopping had to begin on ours I couldn't help but laugh at his logic, because it is something I would have thought of too.

We may never agree on the amount of time he spends on the farm or why the girls don't always listen to me, but change their actions as soon as he says their name. Marriage is not about changing for each other, it is about finding that sweet spot where you can both exist. He keeps me moving when I feel like sitting still and I help him take a step back and relax when he wants to keep moving. For that I know we found our match as we vowed to love each other through the sunny and rainy days 12 years ago today.  I am glad we can continue to twist and grow our roots together for many more planting and harvesting seasons to come.

And without him I would not get to be the mom of these goofy girls that fill up my heart and make us a family that can tell you 'tails' from our funny farm.

What does your spouse do to balance your relationship?