A simple fact that is hard to learn is that the time to save money is when you have some. - Joe Moore

Another holiday season has come and gone and another month of comments from my husband about my spending habits has started. I will be the first to admit that I am terrible when it comes to worrying about money. It is not something I really thought about growing up. I started babysitting when I was 10 or 11 and I had my first part-time job when I was 13, so I understand that work equals money, but I never really worried if I had money or did not. Some people have said I was spoiled because most of the time when I asked for something growing up I got it. And some said my parents were 'rich' because we lived in a new house, drove nice cars, had name brand clothes, and took vacations to Disney World and cruises to the Virgin Islands. I knew those things did not just happen, my dad spent most of my childhood on the road building carwashes and my mom worked 80+ hours a week (yes I said in one week) to give us those nice things. And I heard my share of arguments about money - especially when April rolled around and taxes were being done. But still I never really 'worried' that we would not have enough money to do things. My parents always just made it happen. Like I said, I worked for extra money and I balanced my checkbook every month and made sure I paid for things I wanted so I knew what it meant to not spend more than you had.

But, I still remember when my husband and I went to pre-marriage classes with the pastor and took the compatibility survey that money was one of the areas we were furthest apart on. He is very interested in making sure he knows where the money goes, what we are spending it on, and that we have money saved in case something comes up - which is sort of funny to me since when I met him he never balanced his check book and when I tried to do it for him it was like $200+ off... I, like I have said, don't really worry about it. As long as I can pay my bills then it is okay. I never really think about saving and the future because money will keep coming in right? We both had jobs so it was okay. 

Even when my husband decided he needed to quit his good paying job in town as an electrician to take over the family farm we still did okay. We made it work. Every year at holiday and tax time I got comments about my spending and credit card debt so I started a Christmas Club account to hopefully help with that.

Then the postpartum depression hit hard and I needed a break from my job. As I told you I never really worried about money, so I did not really think anything of the pay cut I would take to work part time for my dad and be home more with the girls and focus on my health. I was slightly freaked out when after six months my dad told me he really could not afford to pay me and my family health insurance so one was going to have to give. It ended up being the push I needed to get back into education and ultimately led me to the position I am in now, but I am not going to lie - it has been rough moneywise. My husband thinks I don't understand because if I did I would just stop spending money and we would be fine. But I am a sucker when I find a 'good' deal and I tend to go a little overboard with gifts at Christmas so the combination does tend to get me in trouble around the holidays and we spend the rest of the next year making up for it just to have the cycle happen again. 

I want it to stop and I have found an app on my phone to do this, but I am a little overwhelmed at getting started. I know I can do it - I was the only student in my class to take Advanced Accounting so I know all about checks and balances and inputing it into the computer. But right now it looks really bad because I haven't had a 'real' paycheck since I stopped working at school. And even though my dad paid me more then he should have, I have only had a few hundred dollar paychecks each month from the schools I was subbing at since September so I am not going to lie that all of the months are in the negative on my budget and graph on the website and the amount of money in our checking account just keeps going down. 

I do have to say though that January is always a tough month for us as we pay an 'estimate' on what we believe our taxes will cost us based on the previous year. You see when you are a farmer tax 'return' is not in your vocabulary.... And looking at the neat pie chart from the website from last month, the biggest chunk of the pie is for taxes. But all my husband sees are the packages that show up from a deal I found online of something I do not 'need.' 

I will admit that I am far from perfect and I am sure I buy things that I do not need. But I also spent a majority of the last year and a half in a stupor of self pity and I am sure if you look back my spending was probably half of what I normally spend. There were times when my husband did the shopping because the thought of leaving the house was too much to handle. I am sure I probably made up for it during the holidays this year, but I sort of felt like I had my life back and I wanted to embrace it to the fullest. I know I made some impulse buys and should not spend as much, but a wise woman has told me, you can't take it with you when you go...But hopefully that will not be anytime soon, so I need to do better. 

I am going to try hard to change. I think it is my late resolution for 2014. I hope I can make it happen! 

The 'tail' end - do you make sure you are saving money for the future and stay on a budget?

 - If yes - how do you do it - If no - why not?