Monday, September 1, 2014

These pink farm boots aren't made for wearing

About a month ago we were shopping at 'The Popcorn Store' (aka Thiesens) and our oldest G told us she needed a new pair of farm boots so we browsed the shoe aisle and came across a pair of pink ones that light up when you walk. She was sure they were perfect and would make her want to come outside more to help with chores. (As of today she has wore them twice to bring her youngest sister outside to find us.)

You see our oldest G probably has the least amount of farm girl in her and would actually prefer to live in town. We often tease her and call her Marcia because she acts a lot like my husband's middle sister when she was growing up on the farm. She is very much a girly girl who prefers to wear dresses and be inside watching TV or pretending to be a teacher, chef, mom, hairstylist, or whatever pops in her mind that day. Which sort of reminds me a lot of myself as a little girl. (When I was eight I organized and hosted a wedding and reception for my five year old brother and the neighbor girl.) 

When I was deep inside the darkness of myself during the worst of my postpartum depression I believed this was all my fault. I always knew the farm was important to my husband and there are times it feels like the farm comes before everything else in life - which at certain times in the year is probably true. Even though I love that my kids will have a chance to grow up in the country and learn from the hard work of their daddy there are times when I wish there was a little more time for family togetherness outside of the milking parlor or cab of a tractor. So when the oldest G was born I made it pretty clear she would make the choice on what she wanted to do about her time on the farm. My husband was not a full time farmer when she was born so going to the farm when she was little was an adventure that we went home after.  We also did not live on the home farm at first when he did take over so she did not have as much time lounging in the stroller (covered in flies) as the younger two G's. So in my irrational mind it was all my fault she does not spend as much time outside helping as the other two.

I now understand that she is her own person and it would really be boring in this world if we were all the same. I will continue to encourage her to put on those pink light up boots and come out to help us, but it really needs to be her own decision as she grows up and learns more about herself. There are times when it is not a discussion because she needs to help so we can go somewhere when we are done or just because she needs to get outside the four walls of the house and the glow of the TV screen. And isn't that what parenting should be about? Guiding our kids to make the best decisions for them.

The 'tail' end - What are some things you do to guide your children to the best decisions for them? 

No comments:

Post a Comment